Madrid - Dirty.jam

Sorry kids, Dirty.jam is only suitable for adults 18+ years old

Sometimes the difference between being an outsider and/or in the know or just plain understanding what is being said . . . is the SLANG. While Spanish is my mother tongue, when I first arrived in Madrid I could sit through an entire conversation with “Spaniards” and have absolutely no idea what they were talking about!!!! So in an effort to save you the embarrassment here are some essentials:

“Me lo pase Pipa!” = I had a pipe time

Translation: The phrase comes from having a good time while smoking a pipe, so if you “had a pipe time”, well you had a pretty good time. CAUTION: Pipa not PipaS as plural refers to popcorn. I made this mistake and when my Spaniard friends were done being amused they let me in on the fact that I had been running around Madrid having a “popcorn” time…

“…es la Ostia” “que Ostia” = It’s the holy communion

Translation: It’s the bomb as one would say in the USA simply meaning it’s the best of the best. CAUTION: Men say it all the time but its frowned upon when women say this expression. It’s considered too crude given the religious context. I also made this mistake and got nasty looks. J

“Eres un Crack” = You’re a crack

Translation: This nice piece of Spanglish means you are “switched on”... clever. If said “Eres un crack tio”… tio translates to man not uncle ie. You’re switched on man.

“Me estoy comiendo los mocos” = I’m eating my snot

Translation: Not literally … it just means you are bored.

“Que Coñaso” = What a cunt/pussy

Translation: Usually used to describe someone who is no fun to be around or a shitty situation. CAUTION: Everyone will say it (somehow its always sprinkled somewhere in the conversation) so don't take offense as its not considered offensive unless off course they are talking about you L

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Madrid - "madre mia!!!"

Madre Mia!! Shouted a guy out of his car window as I was walking Homer (picture below.. my rent-a-dog). This could only translate as follows:

Madre Mia!!!!! = My mother !!!!!

Translation/Meaning 1 = Mother of God!!!! I've Died and Gone to Heaven!!!

Translation/Meaning 2 = Mother of God!!!! How annoying!!!!

The meaning is left to the context, intonation, etc

Not sure which one he meant to be honest but if its Meaning #1 I'm sure he was referring to the dog...just look how cute he is!!!! Clearly anything but annoying!!! :)

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Madrid BABEL

One Sunday afternoon in an effort to escape a boring engagement (no names to protect the innocent J), I excused myself and said I had to go to Madrid Babel. I explained it was work related ... market research stuff !!!

I really had been meaning to go but it never really fit into my social agenda until that point. I had stumbled across it in the city events section of ASW (“ASMALLWORLD a private international community of culturally influential people who are connected by 3 degrees” … slightly pompous …I know!). Fortunately, Madrid Babel is completely down to earth. It’s an ongoing gathering of people from all over the world for language and cultural exchange. The creator, Fran Rodriguez Veiga started Madrid Babel over 10 years ago and has managed to keep it going this entire time. Madrid Babel was even recently awarded “Best Exchange of the Year” by Vibe Magazine.

I arrived at The Quiet Man, the pub tucked away in Chueca was loud and overflowing with people. I walked in confused and disoriented and made my way to the check-in counter where I met Fran. He had a big smile and gave me the basic intro “There’s the bar and just talk to people, there are different groups, French, Spanish, English etc”. Uh huh, I was beginning to think my initial engagement had way more potential when a confident 21 year old said “Are you here to practice your Spanish or English?” I wasn’t interested in either ( I consider them both my native tongues) but decided I would sacrifice my time for the greater good and practice English with the university boys J

EVERY WEDNESDAY 21:30 at Café Madrid (c/ Escalinata s/n - metro Opera)

EVERY SUNDAY 19:00 at The Quiet Man (c/ Valverde, 44 - metro Tribunal)

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Madrid - Teatro Real

I was regrettably running late for the Opera and I would now need to wait until intermission to claim my seat. In the meantime though I was escorted to the 5^th floor of the Madrid Teatro Real where I could catch a sneak view. As I settled in and looked around I realized I wasn’t the only one who was late. To my surprise we were all women (I speculate age range between 30s to 70s), impeccably dressed for the occasion and alone at the opera.

Without the benefits of the centre stage Spanish subtitles, I listened to I Puritani in Italian intently and enjoyed it all the same even though I had no idea what they were saying.

Eventually I made it to my assigned seat and in the final act, Elvira asks Arturo “Do you love me?” In our modern world a simple yes or no answer would suffice but in the realm of the opera Arturo replies with passion and believable conviction:

Italian: Viene, vieni fra queste braccia, amor, delizia e vita, vieni: non mi sarai rapita finche ti stringo al cor. Ad ogni istante ansante ti chiamo e te sol bramo.Ah! vieni, vein, tel ripeto t’amo, ah, t’amo d’immenso amore!

Spanish: Ven, ven a mis brazos, amor, delicia y vida, ven: nadie te va a apartar de mi mientras te estreche contra mi Corazon. A cada instante anhelante te llamo, y te deseo solo a ti. Ah, ven, ven, te lo repito, te amo, ah, te amo con un inmenso amor!

English: Come, come to my arms, my love, my delight, my life, come: No one will take you from me as long as I embrace you against my heart. I call for you eagerly every instant and desire only you. Ah, come, come, I repeat that I love you; I love you with infinite love.

I can’t speak for the other ladies but this is one of the reasons I go to the Opera.

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Catalan

Barcelona may not be going to the Champions League 2010 Final but at least they still have Gaudi, Ferran Adria and their own language. Barcelona as the capital of the Autonomous region of Catalonia celebrates the uniqueness of having Catalan as a co-official language next to Spanish. So when in Barcelona if you really want to be respected by the locals, shelf the Spanish and drop in a little courtesy Catalan. Here are a few phrases to get you started:

Good Morning = Bon matí

Please = Si us plau

Excuse Me = Excusi'm

Thank You = Gràcies

Goodbye = Adéu

Chocolate = Xocolata

For more Catalan click here!

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Just a little note to say....

(Image courtesy of http://gotsole.files.wordpress.com)

The world my little girl is growing up is already so different from the one I grew up in.

Growing up in the 80's was idyllic (or maybe we were all just oblivious); we lived with our doors unlocked, children at home alone or on the streets playing. My best friend lived on the street perpendicular to mine and our primary school was less than a 5 minute walk away. In between our houses, next to the dairy (that's a corner shop for all your brits, not where you milk your cows) there use to be a big, old tree with lots of nooks and crannies. A great place for hiding notes! Now I can't remember exactly what we had to tell each other considering we walked to school together, spent all day together at school and after... but the idea of leaving a secret note or receiving one, usually accompanied by a lolly, was just so thrilling! (Just to remind you I was 8 years old!). This lasted a couple of weeks until one day someone stole a note and our lolly. That was the end of that.

But that was juts the start of my life of communication: giving and taking notes / messages / faxes / phone calls /  letters / emails / text messages / skype .. anymore to add to the list?

At school we use to write notes in class, pass them to each other in the hallway on the way to another class or send secret anonymous notes to boys we liked. A few from memory:

"Dear Roger*, Will you go out with me? Tick the boxes below. YES / NO / MAYBE. Love Sue*

"Dear Anna*, Sue* thinks she is so cool. Is she ignoring us? Let's ignore her back."

"Dear Sally*, Do you like Roger*? If you do, you can have him. I don't like him anymore. If you want I can ask him if he'll go out with you?"

At home we use to fax notes to each other (even this one still confuses me today - why?!?!), sit on conference calls for hours... my poor Dad had to add an extra line when he had 3 teenage girls fighting to use the phones. Some boys were unlucky enough to get dumped by fax by some of my friends... I know cos I had to edit their draft faxes for them!

If only text messages had existed 8 years ago so I could've texted Tim after I had met him instead of spending hours plucking up the courage to call him!

I wish I had kept some of my old messages but in the years of moving around they have all been thrown away. At the same time I probably would be horrified about the things I wrote about the boys I liked, the girls who were being mean and how much I hated my parents (I didn't mean it, I love you now Mum + Dad!!). 

Now, my life is all about keeping in touch with all my beautiful friends as much as I can. They are all over the world but emails, text messages, phone calls and skype make the world all that much smaller. It would be a long way from Sao Paulo to check if there is a secret message and lolly waiting for me in a hole in a tree by the dairy.

*Names have been changed to protect the innocent

JAM English Flashcards: Fruit and Vegetables available online at jam.shop now!

Madrid - How did I get here?!

After my decadent and glorious one year sabbatical, I decided to pick up a gig and so my two suitcases, polo gear and I headed to headquarters to report for duty where I would be given my 1^st assignment J

...MADRID! I was no stranger to the place since I had studied in Spain for a year and had visited numerous times. Coming up to my three month anniversary here though I must say that the place has grown on me unexpectedly.

With base in Barrio Salamanca, I love my morning runs through ‘El Retiro’ Madrid’s version of New York’s Central park or London’s Hyde Park and the familiarity of being on a first name basis with the local newspaper vendor. Every morning it’s the usual “Buenos dias Miguel Angel, un El Pais y Un Expansion por favor”. Then it’s a quick stop to my local café for a fresh squeezed ‘zumo de naranja’. I get the usual stares from the locals who are lighting up their morning cigarettes accompanied by a ‘café con leche’ and the breakfast ritual of baguette with fresh smashed tomatoes and olive oil. With Gabana, Fortuny and Dejate Besar Madrid’s classic nightlife institutions, the fabulous shopping streets of Calle Velazquez, Serano, Ortega & Gasset, a conveniently located low key metro station Nunez & Balboa, MCNY manicure & pedicure heaven, top notch restaurants such as ‘Pan de Lujo’, Le Garage, Tsunami, ‘El Mercado de Diego y Leon’ for fresh produce, and “comfort essentials” such as the international chains Starbucks and Le Pain Quotidien but also some national chain goodies such as Lateral and VIPS all within a short walk from my doorstep and Voila I’m in Heaven!

Weekends I venture to the seedier parts of town such as ‘La Latina’, ‘Chueca’, and ‘Gran Via’. Enjoying places like ‘Juana la Loca’ for creative tapas and a cozy atmosphere, Bar Cock in Calle Reina for an eclectic crowd and delicious cocktails, Korgui for curious Japanese and Mexican fusion and the endless hidden boutiques in the narrow pedestrian streets of Chueca.

More importantly though I can get my dose of art here. First class institutions such as EL Prado, Thyssen-Bornemisza Museum, Reina Sofia, MAPFRE Foundacion and art installations at Elvira Gonzalez and Alvaro Alcazar.

JAM English Flashcards: Fruit and Vegetables available online at jam.shop now!